Entered detox & rehab on 02.21.2017
Sober 3 months. Started drinking again.
Cold turkey, February 4, 2018

I am an alcoholic, looking for help and looking for answers.
This is about my journey of coming to terms with my addiction.
I’m going to stumble. I’m going to ramble.
I am going to grow through this.
– Shawn

“Drunkenness is temporary suicide.”
– Bertrand Russell, The Conquest of Happiness


      1. Hey man I’m only a blog away … you’re a great writer and I learned we are even better when we’re sober. The disease has its illusions. My favorite singer/musician Gregg Allman discovered after 30 years plus that he sang better sober. He thought drinking Brandy made him sound better until he stopped drinking was even scared if he stopped he’d be no good…
        My email mikeyznsacto@gmail.com (let’s make it a keyboard away)

        Liked by 1 person

  1. Huge props for taking the first step and recognizing there is a change in your life you want to make. Yes, you’re right. It won’t be easy. There will be bumps along the way. But, even though you may not see it now, know there is life on the other side.One step at a time brother. You don’t have to devour the elephant all in one sitting. Peace. Rb

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Hey, thanks for the follow !
    I read two of your blogs and was struck by your thoughtfulness about your process of drinking and getting sober, all good yet you need to relax. This is a life time practice, one you do, one day at a time, sometimes one moment at a time.
    My blog is not generally about recovery yet it is about our spiritual/emotional process of everyday living…

    I wish you the best at Rehab, and your continued process in recovery… I am here for you and look forward the journey with you.


    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much! I am blown away by the support I’ve found in this community online. I truly had no anticipation of it – just wanted to write to get my thoughts out…then I started finding other people’s blogs, talking about their journeys and struggles – and the incredible support everyone offers each other. #FaithInHumanityRestored. It’s helping me SO much already and I’m just starting out on this journey. Thanks so much for being one of those people xo

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yes! I experienced the exact same thing. Just thought I would be able to get some junk out of my head and have been so surprised at the connection and support. I’m glad you are feeling the support. I’ve been in recovery for a long time so am happy to help if I can. I’m not a traditional 12 step person so can’t offer much that way. I also live with chronic pain, so recovery has a slightly different meaning for me. I still have to take the meds that almost killed me. Glad to be part of #FaithInHumanityRestored 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I appreciate that, thank you 🙂 So happy to hear you’re on the mend! I haven’t done a 12 Step program, and where I’m going doesn’t adhere to one (they implement many of the steps in a certain way, though). It’s all so new to me.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. It doesn’t matter how you do it, just that you do it. My best advice is to address the mental health issues at the same time. And if you’re going to inpatient be sure to have a solid plan for when you are done. That was the hardest part for me. The day I left inpatient… Stay strong! I’m cheering for you ❤

        Liked by 1 person

      4. That’s exactly what I’m being told and hearing a lot. Aftercare. Aftercare. AFTERCARE. They supposedly set me up quite well to head home and start a new life – there’s 4 modules to the program and we have to have an entire support network built in module 3 (professionals, family, meetings, doctors) before we can progress to module 4 (the final chapter LOL). There’s a great schedule that keeps us busy all day, including multiple individual therapy sessions, group therapy, spiritual activities (yoga and meditation), art and music therapy, exercise, etc. It’s looking really well balanced (so far!) Thanks so much for taking the time to cheer me on 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Thanks for the “follow” here on WordPress. It allowed me to read some of your writing and view some of your incredible photographs. I’ve already gotten a great deal from your posts, and I hope in some small way you have or will have gotten something of value from my posts as well.

    From what I’ve read, you have some big challenges ahead of you shortly. I will be praying for you. Keep posting. Thanks!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. “Oh Canada…” We lived in Canada until my oldest son graduated high school (5 yrs. after my husband died). In those days, it seemed that “everyone” drank – a lot. Maybe it was just the hockey parents, I dunno.

    Anyway, as a depressed widow, I didn’t have time to over-consume, I had to be strong and sober to raise my sons. Now, many years later, after one of my sons died from pancreatic cancer at a young age, leaving behind a 2 yr. & 4 yr. old children, and loving wife, I am struggling everyday.

    The first year after Mike’s death, I submerged myself into projects. I was busy, busy, busy. That helped. But now, as I approach the 2nd anniversary of Mike’s death, I realize that this year has been filled with more “self-medicating” alcohol. Now, I have begun my journey back to life.

    For me, I try to make small goals for myself each day, to accomplish something, to put a check mark next to a goal I had set. Most of all, I have to remind myself that my life is important to the people who love me.

    Remember, addiction is an actual disease. This has been scientifically proven. So, those of us with “the gene” have to somehow remember that we are not weak, we are pre-programmed and we have to fight, with every ounce of courage within, to fight this. Be aware of the “triggers” and be prepared with a detour plan.

    I wish you the absolute best in your recovery. You can do it! You made the first step, and more. Sending love and spiritual strength. ~Mike’s Mom


  5. Hello my new friend.
    I really enjoy reading your thoughts every day. Well been only a few days but looking forward to reading more. I wish you all the best in your journey of recovery and know that I am on the path with you. I am being mindful too. Every day is a new chance to make a choice for our lives. Why not make the “right” one. Whatever that means for each of us. Rock on Buddy!

    Liked by 1 person

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