No, don’t worry, I haven’t had a drop to drink outside of black coffee and water.

(Insert applause!)

But it’s this time of day that is hardest, because, well, the Liquid Lunch. This is the time of day I’d go pour my first drink, and it made me remember this brilliant, swanky, horribly accurate song by the talented Miss Caro Emerald. (Video and lyrics below)

I’ll admit this time around (so far) has been easier, because The Fear isn’t here this time.

The absolute terror of the unknown can’t exist anymore, because I’ve been here before. It’s that anxious dread you have waiting to go on the biggest scariest rollercoaster ever…but once you’ve rode it and get off, you can get back on with a little more excitement and a lot less fear.

This time, at least I have a measure to go on.

I know what to expect, and I know how good I felt and started looking the last time I was sober. Because, well, your memories stick when you aren’t absolutely hammered.

Being in control is hella sexy.

Liquid Lunch (Lyrics) by Caro Emerald
Baby, pass the aspirin, something’s gotta work
I know I did it to myself but man oh man it hurts
That second last Martini, the one that went down real smooth
Set me on the bender with nothing left to lose

I just can’t apologize
For what I did to myself
My bed’s an ocean liner
And I can’t call for help

Yea baby, it hurts a bunch
The girls got going and we had a munch
I promise on a dime, it’s the last time
I’ll ever have a liquid lunch

Yea baby, it hurts a bunch
The girls got going and we had a munch
I promise on a dime, it’s the last time
I’ll ever have a liquid lunch

I think I’ve got the symptoms and none of them will leave
They think that it’s a party to laugh at all my grief
It must’ve been a doozy, I had two hundred dreams
At least I found my pillow ‘cause I can’t find my keys

It’s hard to remember
All of the events
But I must’ve paid the tab
‘Cause all that’s left is fifty cents

Yea baby, it hurts a bunch
The girls got going and we had a munch
I promise on a dime it’s the last time
I’ll ever have a liquid lunch

Yea baby, it hurts a bunch
The girls got going and we had a munch
I promise on a dime it’s the last time
I’ll never have a liquid lunch

Maybe, I can call the pharmacy
They’ll bring something up, something up ‘toute suite’
Some exotic medicine to cure my every ill
With some kind of magic pill

I just can’t apologize
For what I did to myself
My bed’s an ocean liner
And I can’t call for help

Yea baby, it hurts a bunch
The girls got going and we had a munch
I promise on a dime, it’s the last time
I’ll ever have a liquid lunch

Yea baby, it hurts a bunch
The girls got going and we had a munch
I promise on a dime, it’s the last time
I’ll ever have a liquid lunch

Yea baby, it hurts a bunch
The girls got going and we had a munch
I promise on a dime, it’s the last time
I’ll ever have a liquid lunch

Yea baby, it hurts a bunch
The girls got going and we had a munch
I promise on a dime, it’s the last time
I’ll ever have a liquid lunch

Written by Vincent Paul Degiorgio, N Hoogendrop, David Christiaan Schreurs, Jan P K Van Wieringen, Robin Veldman • Copyright © Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd., Universal Music Publishing Group

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