First, there’s the type of cry like when you stub your toe and the pain has nowhere to go, so it turns into liquid and forces itself out your eyes.
Then, there’s the type of cry that comes from grief. Sadness for a loss. It’s slow and steady, and has been waiting for someone to ask you how you’re doing. Then it bursts out of you, like a dam being broken. The pressure releases and you’re okay, in the end.
Then, there is the cry, that absolutely erupts from the depth of your being. Where all the salt has settled from every disappointment in your life. It’s gets stirred up and spins upward through all of your fears and uncertainties and burns you on the way out to the point of not being able to open your eyes. Like fire and regret have turned into tears and they just want out.
It’s through the burning and stinging, through the pain and the blinking, that all the sorrows and regrets you can’t ever speak of just pool out of you.
And you can exhale.
Short breaths caught quick between sobs.
The poison has left you – for a little while.
That’s the type of cry I’ve been having today.
Packing is hard.